Painting Pictures of Egypt

Pregnancy can be overwhelming at times.  As it should be really.  Entering into the most responsibility I have ever known should cause some reflection and some serious awareness of my need for help.  Lately....moment by moment...I am either so excited or so scared. Eek! I can't believe that I am going to be responsible for every physical, emotional and spiritual need of a tiny, eternal soul.  I know this didn't start when I became a mom, but I often think about how important every decision, even the seemingly small ones, really matter because it will affect her.  It matters what I eat, because she needs all of those nutrients to grow into a lovely and healthy little girl. My body is not my own. It matters that Adam and I treat have a relationship that is characterized by love, patience and respect, because she needs to know that she has a secure place to grow up.  And on a more important scale, it matters that I nurture my relationship with the Lord and work hard at having a soft heart and letting God mold me into a woman of godly character, because I am the example that she sees.  It really, really isn't about me any more. 

Those are just some honest thoughts, and I thought I would share and old favorite song that I have been taking a lot of comfort in lately.  I just love the lyrics to this song so much.  It based upon Numbers 11.  God had just miraculously delivered the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt.  They were headed to the promised land and they started complaining about how they wanted to go back to Egypt.  Crazy people! Did they forget about the SLAVERY part???  But, actually I do this too. When life feels hard or you are going through a big change it's really easy to feel unsure and just want to go back to a previous time, mostly because it is comfortable.   And I am going through a big change.  Not that I would want to change it for anything.  I feel so incredibly blessed.  There are just some worries to work through and it is good to remember all of the life changes that the Lord has brought me through in the past...and that every worry or anxiety...well they just aren't necessary :)

But Sara Groves says it way better than me...

Painting Pictures of Egypt - Sara Groves

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?